How to Stay Out of the Friend Zone

friend zones

A friend of mine recently rehashed a discussion he had with someone else about the “Friend Zone”. Hmmm what is the “Friend Zone” you ask? The Friend Zone is when a person you are romantically interested in place you in the box of “just a friend”. I know you’re thinking well isn’t it good to be a friend first before anything? Yes I do agree with that but it is different levels to it. You must be clear with your intentions from the jump, do not be their counselor, do not get too friendish  with them, and lastly be real and speak your mind/heart.

Firstly, you have to be real with yourself. What do you really want out of this person that you are pursuing or want to pursue? When you know what you want from them you should make that very clear in advance. Do not put yourself in a situation where you unconsciously become the go-to person for the open ear and shoulder to cry on. It’s nice to have sympathy for a person but don’t let it get too deep. I’m pretty sure this person has close friends they can already seek to vent about certain things mainly romance woes. You may want to diffuse that situation quickly before it gets out of hand.

Surely, you can get to know the person and talk about personal matters such as dreams, goals, likes/dislikes and other things of that nature. Let the conversation flow in a fun, a little flirty, and easy manner. Never let it be a one sided situation where they are sharing all of their woes and you are their adviser/counselor. Keep it light. You have to make sure they know you are not their counselor, you are a person who would love to eventually become the one for them.

    When you spend time with this person, let it be known to them that you consider this a special occasion. Not saying this has to be extravagant. Rewording your invitation to them might do the trick. Example, instead of saying lets get together to hang out, why not say, “Are you free this Friday, I would love to take you out?” or instead of saying come over for pizza and movies say, “I would like to have a special in-house movie and pizza date with you, are you available”? In my opinion that’s not coming off too pushy but you are making it clear that you’re not trying to hang out as buds, you have a special interest in mind.

    I can go on and on with pointers to stay out of the friend zone. Out of everything I can say most importantly, speak your mind. A closed mouth will never get fed. You are indeed the author of your own love story!!

Soulfully True

Live for you!!!

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Sometimes you just have to live for you and do you! Some people won’t like you for it but what I learned in my 25+ years is the one’s who matter in your life will roll with you however you bring it! People can be with you or against you but no matter what you gotta be you…. I may have a smart mouth sometimes, a little anti at times, talk too much at times, and a gang of other things. But I have a heart ❤ of gold and if I mess with you I mess with you for real and I have so many who can vouch for this. I have always did me without giving an explanation and stayed out the way of mess and drama. I like to associate myself with people who are on the same!! I’ve never had to force friendships or relationships!! I have people who accept me for me and want me in their life and they get the same from me. We may be different, and make different choices, and decisions but we still respect ourselves and others at all times!! If we don’t understand we gain some type of understanding. We don’t claim to be perfect just living life and doing us!!  If you don’t surround yourself with people who accept you for you, you’re losing!!!

Soulfully True

The Past

past

It wont let me go

Trying to trap me in this time machine, I just wanna let go

It’s comforting but toxic the same

It’s a reason why it’s a closed chapter, something’s to blame

To have your cake and eat it too isn’t how it was written

Playing in the fields with wolves you’re sure to get bitten

It seems like you’re happy with your life so let me live mine

We can’t move forward and hold on, that’s not how it’s designed

I’m happy for you and this goodbye will be my last

I’m moving on with my future… You are the past.