A friend of mine recently rehashed a discussion he had with someone else about the “Friend Zone”. Hmmm what is the “Friend Zone” you ask? The Friend Zone is when a person you are romantically interested in place you in the box of “just a friend”. I know you’re thinking well isn’t it good to be a friend first before anything? Yes I do agree with that but it is different levels to it. You must be clear with your intentions from the jump, do not be their counselor, do not get too friendish with them, and lastly be real and speak your mind/heart.
Firstly, you have to be real with yourself. What do you really want out of this person that you are pursuing or want to pursue? When you know what you want from them you should make that very clear in advance. Do not put yourself in a situation where you unconsciously become the go-to person for the open ear and shoulder to cry on. It’s nice to have sympathy for a person but don’t let it get too deep. I’m pretty sure this person has close friends they can already seek to vent about certain things mainly romance woes. You may want to diffuse that situation quickly before it gets out of hand.
Surely, you can get to know the person and talk about personal matters such as dreams, goals, likes/dislikes and other things of that nature. Let the conversation flow in a fun, a little flirty, and easy manner. Never let it be a one sided situation where they are sharing all of their woes and you are their adviser/counselor. Keep it light. You have to make sure they know you are not their counselor, you are a person who would love to eventually become the one for them.
When you spend time with this person, let it be known to them that you consider this a special occasion. Not saying this has to be extravagant. Rewording your invitation to them might do the trick. Example, instead of saying lets get together to hang out, why not say, “Are you free this Friday, I would love to take you out?” or instead of saying come over for pizza and movies say, “I would like to have a special in-house movie and pizza date with you, are you available”? In my opinion that’s not coming off too pushy but you are making it clear that you’re not trying to hang out as buds, you have a special interest in mind.
I can go on and on with pointers to stay out of the friend zone. Out of everything I can say most importantly, speak your mind. A closed mouth will never get fed. You are indeed the author of your own love story!!