I’ve found myself becoming anxious about many things. This anxiety at times transpires to agitation, mood swings, etc. Majority of times I am pretty happy go lucky but I have my moments when I just feel overwhelmed. To be completely transparent, at times I feel sad even. Yes me, the newlywed, the mother of 1 amazing girl, me, the superwoman. I am a strong woman but at moments I feel weak. Weak to the pressures of work, family, etc. Life can be vastly overwhelming. My thoughts and emotions sometimes take me to another place and I’m pretty sure if I don’t get a handle it can take me to a very dark place.
Why must we always put on a strong face and consider it taboo to have a moment of weakness or uneasiness? The stigma of being viewed as unstable or looney, the pressure of living up to these perfect lives on social media, or simply the fear of feeling like a failure results in many people fighting mental battles alone. Sometimes one may think, “Oh it’s nothing, everyone goes through stuff” or “I don’t want to complain to anyone about issues.” What we all must realize is just balancing life is heavy. Even if you do it in a way that seems seamless and perfect to others the wrath of this roller coaster of life can be pretty draining.
It’s also ok to feel overwhelmed and burned out but we do not have to stay in that state. Lets put this mental health stigma to rest and take care of ourselves. No sense of looking good on the outside if you’re not feeling your very best on the inside!
Today I vow to put me and my mental first. Seeking help does not make me weak. Drowning in sorrows does. I never would have imagined I would desire to seek professional help but my mission in life to help others I must lead by example and promote healthiness on all levels. My job offers EAP (Employee Assistance Program) where you can get up to five counseling sessions free a year. I just started the process and hope to see someone soon. It’s a must I keep my mind strong and I encourage others to do the same!!!
Wow can you believe this year is almost over? 2018 has been a pretty great year for me. I graduated and earned my bachelor’s in May.
In August, my love and I of six years had a wonderful budget wedding that I planned in 4 months, which I can’t wait to tell you more about (future blog post). This past September I got an unexpected promotion at work offering an increase in pay, new challenges and other rewards. So many wonderful things right?
As rewarding as 2018 has been this year has also been pretty emotional for me. I’ve learned plans don’t always go how you “plan”. I discovered the lack of authenticity in people, I begin to stop pouring so much of myself into people/relationships. Don’t get me wrong, I still nurture my mutually fulfilling relationships but the ones I am unsure about I started to not always reach out and see who still would. I’ve learned that it’s ok to grow apart from people even though you don’t want to grow apart and on the other hand I’ve learned the ones who don’t want to grow apart from you won’t. I’ve learned to love who loves me. I’ve learned to appreciate who’s there for me and not worry or harbor ill feelings towards those who aren’t. I’ve learned that unhappy people will never be happy for you.
I’ve second guessed myself, I’ve falsely assumed things. I’ve been wronged. I’ve been wrong. I’ve learned to appreciate the bright side of things. I’ve learned to speak my mind and be more expressive to things and people that’s in my corner instead of keeping things bottled in. I’ve learned to pull away from drama and chaos because once you’re pulled into it you’re a part of it.
I’ve learned that although social media is a wonderful tool it’s also one of the biggest tools of deception. I’ve learned the importance of unplugging from the virtual world often because the negative vibes can easily be internalized. I’ve learned to be more appreciative for what’s in front of me. I’ve learned to trust the process. I’ve learned to appreciate the highs and the lows. I’ve learned to remind myself that trouble don’t last long. I’ve learned that’s it’s ok to not always agree as long as what you take away from it is love and understanding. I’m choosing to embrace my realist but optimistic persona. I’m learning to really toughen up and get out of my feelings.
All and all I realized how blessed I am & I’m hoping to end the year out with a bang. Loads of good vibes and making memories!
How has 2018 been to you thus far? Any discoveries, observations, or insights?
As a busy professional, wife, mother, and a host of other things you may be, life can get pretty hectic and you can easily become burnt out. As women, we tend to take care of everything and everyone and oftentimes, we neglect to take care of ourselves.
Below I have listed a few essentials that keeps me grounded and help me live a more balanced life:
Distribute Tasks at Home– Home life can get hectic. As the woman of the house you are expected to make sure everything gets done and stays in order. Some probably can take on that role alone and somehow remain stress free. Me on the other hand, I solicit my other housemates for help. Everyone is responsible for given tasks around the house. This way everyone plays a role in keeping an orderly household and no one is stressed out and taking everything on.
Invest in a Personal Notebook– If your thoughts are always all over the place like mine a notebook would benefit you. Whenever you think of something important or sometimes things that are not so important, take your notebook and jot it down. A busy lifestyle can sometimes take a toll on our memory so a handy, purse sized notebook will be your best friend.
Designate Positive Reading Time to Jump-start Your Day– This could be a bible verse, an inspiring quote, a self-help book, etc. This helps to create a positive outlook for your day. I get daily quotes from a mobile app called Enliven.
Learn to Say No– Sometimes we take on more than necessary because of our natural nurturing and pleasing personalities. If you feel overwhelmed it is ok to say no! What good is the world if everyone is happy and carefree except for you? Do yourself and everyone around you a favor and just say NO to avoid unnecessary stress and burn out.
Do Something Special for You– Take some time away from the daily grind and do something pleasing for you. This can come in the form of a fun vacation, a massage, a night out with friends, sending your family out for a few hours so you can get a few hours of quiet time to maybe do something as simple as curl up and read a book.
Have a Glass of Wine– Yes I said it. Sometimes a refreshing glass of wine is just what the doctor ordered to relax and unwind. If wine is not your thing please feel free to skip this tip. 🙂
These are just a few of my must haves/must dos to assist me in living a more balanced life.
Please feel free to add to the list and share what works for you in the comment area. Also don’t forget to follow and subscribe.
2017 was not too terrible. The good, job transitions, business launches, engagement (Yes engagement, I’m a fiancee). The not so good, the loss of a friend dear to me to a tragic accident. Outside of the tragedy, it was basically a steady year that flew by extremely fast. I am truly grateful for the newfound insight and wisdom 2017 left me with. However, I am glad for another year and a new beginning.
To cap the year off I got a chance to do one of my favorite things with one of my favorite gal pals. Paint and Sip!!! Yes, who knew that painting your own unique masterpiece could be so therapeutic. If you’ve never taken a paint class you must treat yourself. I have been to several venues who host paint and sip (you get to paint and enjoy a beverage, customarily wine, BYOB). For this outing I visited Pinot’s Palette. I loved the atmosphere and the hosts were awesome as well.
Check out some of the pics from our wonderful paint night experience:
Me with my finished creation
My bff & I enjoying our chilly night out
Our hostess painting that guided us through the night!
Looking forward to filling you in on some things and having you along for the journey of this new year. Please subscribe so you won’t miss a beat.
So yesterday was the first day of classes. This semester I have 2 online and 1 that I am going in for. I have my planner in order and getting myself organized for the semester. As I am preparing for the semester I see that me being in class 2 nights a week (Tues & Thurs) and other obligations on Wednesdays I will be away from home more often than not during the week.
Yesterday we grabbed fast food on my way in from class. I was actually disgusted with it. I made a mental note to myself that my family and I will not eat fast food several nights a week this semester so of course I had to come up with a plan.
Meal prepping is a practice that I’ve been hearing about forever but never took the time to try out myself. Starting this Sunday I plan to prepare at least 3-4 meats for the week. My classes are not too too long so I can easily prepare sides when I get home. With the meats prepared I won’t have to worry about everyone being up way past their bedtimes waiting for dinner to get done. I can see everyone sitting down to eat dinner by 8:00 p.m. then going to bed no later than 9:00 p.m. This meal prepping thing will save money and time.
Juggling a full-time job, a family, and school is not the easiest but there are no excuses. You have to try out different things that will help make your journey easier for you. I will keep you all posted about my meal prepping. If you have any tips or suggestions for me please leave them in the comments.
The last leg of 2016 (July & after) was totally unpredictable. If you read “The Master-Plan is not always Master” you know I was let go from my job of 7 years. That was a total shock. I lost my paternal grandmother the day after my last day of employment. That brought on another whirlwind of emotions. Both of these things were totally unexpected. You can never prepare yourself for such things. After the initial shock and emotions from my losses I got through the rest of the year with a high held head and joy in my heart. I refused to let myself stay down in a funk.
Ok now. Enough of that already… HELLO 2017!!!
I’m so grateful for a clean slate and the opportunity at all life has to offer.
In life we all make plans. These big, grand plans of the way we want things to go in our life. It’s pretty ironic that nothing ever goes as planned.
I’ve been on my current job for 7 years in a position that although I am blessed to have doesn’t make me feel very great. But I had a plan. My plan was to continue working my mediocre job and finish my education since my company pays for it 100%. No matter how unhappy I was with with my job I was going to stick to my plan. Guess what I almost made it until an unexpected loop got thrown into my “grand plan”. Last Thursday I was called into an impromptu meeting that I did not see coming at all. This meeting included my immediate supervisor, the head of the department, another staff member and a man in a suit that I was soon to learn was a HR personnel. I was all smiles as usual thinking this was a usual workday meeting. To my surprise the other staff member and myself were handed a 90 day notice of our job ending. Not in a million years did I expect this to happen. After all I had “planned” to graduate college on my job’s dime and gladly hand them my 2 weeks’s notice and go find this wonderful job in my desired field. Boy did they bring me back to earth. It took all I had to hold my tears in and not cry in front of the people who are putting a stunt in my livelihood.
My initial thoughts were OMG what am I going to do? My second thoughts were well hey maybe this is meant. I have 90 days to figure out a plan. There I go with this “plan” mess lol. I was giving the permission to go home early and come to terms with things. I was in shock and disbelief but aside from that I saw a gleam of sunshine. I have been struggling taking care of a family, working a full time job, and juggling classes. The latter of course had my least focus. I’ve been in school the last so many years but it has kind of taken the backseat of everything else. Especially work. It got hard. My grades were starting to slip. I stressed trying to figure out how I could do an internship in my field to kind of get a feel of things. Once I got home from work, cleaned, and fed my family. I was often too tired to pick up a school book. I never felt I had time to focus and give 100% on the thing that was most important to me. Could this curve ball layoff that wasn’t a part of my “plan” be exactly what I needed? Is this my opportunity to combine my savings, the severance pay they will give me, and use my unemployment benefits to focus on my last year of school? In addition to the cash amount of my severance package, the company is also willing to pay for 2 more years of school. Wow I’m winning right?!
I haven’t shared my news with many but the one’s I have are so supportive. I was actually expecting a lot of negative feedback but the one’s closest to me never lost sight of my potential. They believe in me and know I will be A ok whatever direction I decide to take. For that I am so grateful. My significant other seems worried although he won’t admit but I assured him everything will be A ok. Everything happens for a reason. Although what lies ahead of me is very scary since I don’t have any solid “plans” I am very optimistic. Plans are meant to change so why not just have an idea of things and just go with the flow. I have a pilot that is in charge of the journey of my life. He just had to remind me. God is great! I can’t say everything will be perfect and peachy. I can’t say I won’t get sad and cry sometimes. I can’t say I have it all figured it out. What I can say is everything will be ok. I really believe that!